Director's Cut
by The Lioness Lives
Summary: Edmund's take on the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.  Written in script form.  i don't know why.  Just plain weird.  Review!
1. Chapter 1

**The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, And The Wardrobe Movie Script**

**AN: I have ADD, a copy of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe movie script, and time to burn. Oh, the fun I will have.**

Susan, Peter, Lucy, and Everyone Else are in normal.

_**Edmund is bolded and italicized, like so.**_

**Comprende****?**

Scene: The Blitz 1940 

_(Blue clouds. The roar of engines becomes gradually louder. Then, German bombers appear. They start dropping bombs on the houses. Edmund looks out the window.)__** Well, what did you expect? I was twelve, there were bombs, and aero planes, and it was a war. I'm a boy. I'm going to want to watch.**_

**Mrs. Pevensie:** Edmund get away from there! Peter! _(to Edmund)_ What do you think you're doing? _**I'm watching the war. What else? What were**_** you**_** doing? **_ Peter, quickly, the shelter now!

**Peter:** Come on! _**Must I? There's fireworks.**_

**Lucy:** _(lying in bed)_ Mommy?

_(Susan runs into her room and grabs things from next to her bed with a flashlight. She notices Lucy in bed) _

**Susan:** Lucy, come on!

_(Pevensies are running to the shelter, we hear them shouting, "Hurry up!" and "Run!". Edmund turns around, as if forgetting something.) __**I didn't forget anything. Peter was being bloody impatient and he wouldn't let me go back.**_

**Edmund:** Wait! Dad!

**Mrs. Pevensie:** Edmund! No! _**Mom! Yes!**_

**Peter:** I'll get him! _**No, you won't.**_

**Mrs. Pevensie:** Peter! Come back!

_(Peter follows Edmund as he runs inside and grabs a picture of a man in a RAF uniform. Suddenly, the window blows in and Peter and Edmund are thrown to the floor.) _

**Peter:** Come on, you idiot! Run! Get out! _**Oh, so you have to insult me too?**_

_(Peter and Edmund run back to the shelter. Peter throws Edmund onto the ground and starts shouting)_

**Peter:** Why can't you think about anyone but yourself? _**I do. You just never asked who they were. **_You're so selfish! _**Thank you. **_You could've got us killed! _**And yet, here we are. **_… Why can't you just do as you're told?_**Because it's against my nature.**_

_(Peter slams the shelter door) _

Scene: Train Station

**Mrs. Pevensie** _(to Lucy)_**: **You need to keep this on, darling. All right, you warm enough? Good girl.

**Edmund:** If Dad were here, he wouldn't make us go. _**He **_**wouldn't **_**have.**_

**Peter:** If dad were here, it'd mean the war was over and we wouldn't have to go. _**True.**_

**Mrs. Pevensie:** You will listen to your brother, won't you Edmund? _**No.**_

_(Mrs. Pevensie tries to kiss Edmund but he recoils. Then she hugs Peter) _

**Mrs. Pevensie:** Promise me you'll look after the others.

**Peter:** I will, mum.

**Mrs. Pevensie:** Good man.

_(Mrs. Pevensie hugs Susan) _

**Mrs. Pevensie:** Susan...Be a big girl. … All right, off you go.

**Edmund** _(to Susan)_**:** Get off. I know how to get on a train by myself. Get off me! _**I did know how to get on a train by myself. Again, I was twelve. It's a dignity thing.**_

**Ticket Collector:** May I have your ticket please? Tickets please!

_(Peter is distracted by soldiers going off to war) _

**Susan:** Peter! _(snatches tickets from Peter)_

**Ticket collector:** On you go.

**Peter:** Yes, thank you.

**Peter **_(To Lucy)_**: **Come on Lucy, we have to stick together now. Everything's going to be all right. It's going to be fine. _**It is?**_

_(The children look out the window of the train and wave) _

**Mrs. Pevensie:** Good-Bye, my darlings.

_(The train drops the Pevensies off) _

Scene: Middle of Nowhere 

**Susan:** The Professor knew we were coming. _**Yes, he did genius. Oops. Sorry, slipped back into moodiness again.**_

**Edmund:** Perhaps we've been incorrectly labeled. _**It was possible!**_

_(Macready pulls up) _

**Peter:** Mrs. Macready?

**Mrs. Macready:** I'm afraid so… Is this it then? Haven't you brought anything else? _**No.**_

**Peter:** No, ma'am. It's just us.

**Mrs. Macready:** Small favors. _**That's what YOU think.**_

Scene: Arriving at the House 

_(While driving the horse over the lawn, some comments like "giddy up, good girl" The four children and Mrs. Macready walk into the house.)_

**Mrs. Macready:** Professor Kirke is not accustomed to having children in his house. And as such, there are a few rules we need to follow: There will be no shouting…or running. No improper use of the dumbwaiter— _**She had a lot of rules – most of which I broke on a daily basis.**_

_(Susan reaches out to touch a sculpture) _

**Mrs. Macready:** NO touching of the historical artifacts! And above all, there shall be no disturbing of the Professor.

_(Lucy looks under the door. She sees a shadow and then runs off) _

Scene: Later That Night

**Radioman:** German aircraft carried out several attacks on Great Britain last night. The raids lasted for several hours-

_(Susan turns off the radio) _

**Lucy:** The sheets feel scratchy. _**Just like in a hotel.**_

**Susan:** Wars don't last forever, Lucy. _**They don't? Sure seems like it to me. **_We'll be home soon. _**We will? How do you know?**_

**Edmund:** If home's still there. _**Hey, I was a bit pessimistic back then.**_

**Susan:** Isn't time you were in bed? _**No.**_

**Edmund:** Yes, Mum!

**Peter** _(to Edmund)_**:** Ed! _**Pete!**_

_(Peter glares at Edmund) __**(Edmund glares at Peter)**_

**Peter **_(to Lucy)_**: **You saw the outside. _**Your point? **_This place is huge. _**Obviously. **_We can do whatever we want here. _**We can? What about all those rules? **_Tomorrow's going to be great … Really. _**I think he was trying to reassure himself.**_

**AN: More? Yes? No? Maybe? Banana? Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Oh, I am having fun with this. Review!**

Scene: Lucy Looks Into a Wardrobe 

_(Rain pattering on window) _

**Susan:** "Gas-tro vas-cu-lar" . . . Come on, Peter; "Gastro vascular."

**Peter:** Is it Latin?

**Susan:** Yes.

**Edmund:** Is it Latin for 'worst game ever invented'? **_Actually, it isn't. It's Latin for . . . something else. (checks Dictionary) Aha! It's Latin for (reads) "describes a part of the body involved in both digestion and circulation." Ew . . ._**

_(Susan closes the book) _

**Lucy:** We could play hide-and-seek. **_Yes, we could._**

**Peter:** But we're already having so much fun. **You_ may have been, but _I _wasn't._**

**Lucy:** Please . . . Pretty please. . . **_Oh, no! He's going to fall for her puppy-dog eyes! No one can resist those! No one! I know you don't believe me._**

**Peter:** One . . . two . . . three . . . four . . . **_Told you._**

_(The children run to hide) _

**Edmund** _(pushes Lucy)_**: **I was here first! **_Sort of._**

_(Lucy rushes around looking for a hiding place. She looks into a room that is quite empty except for one big wardrobe. Lucy notices a bluebottle on the windowsill. She walks up to the wardrobe and pulls off the sheet) _

**Peter** _(in the background)_**:** Eight-four, eighty-five . . .

_(Lucy hides in the wardrobe, leaving the door open, of course. She walks backwards until she her hand pricks the branch of a tree. She turns around and finds herself in a snowy wood. A few minutes later, she walks up to a lamppost. She hears footsteps. Suddenly, a Faun steps out from among the trees into the light of the lamppost) _

Scene: Lucy Meets Tumnus 

**Lucy:** _(screams)_

**Tumnus:** AH!

_(Tumnus jumps behind a tree and Lucy jumps behind the lamppost. Then she comes out and picks up his parcels) _

**Tumnus** _(slowly walking out as Lucy picks up packages)_**:** Uh, CH . . . gk, ch _(random noises)_

**Lucy:** Were you hiding from me? **_Yes._**

**Tumnus:** No . . . I was just – um . . . I didn't want to scare you. **_Liar. _**

**Lucy:** If you don't mind my asking . . . what are you? **_He's a Faun._**

**Tumnus:** Why . . . I'm a Faun! And what about you? **_A Human. _**You must be some kind of . . . beardless Dwarf? **_No. _**

**Lucy:** I'm not a Dwarf. **_No, you're not. _**I'm a girl! **_Yes, you are. _**And actually, I'm tallest in my class. **_She is. _**

**Tumnus:** You mean to say you're a Daughter of Eve? **_Yes. Well, Lucy is. I'm not._**

**Lucy:** My mum's name is Helen. **_Helen Pevensie. Love you, Mum! (For appearance' sake.)_**

**Tumnus:** Yes, but you are . . . you are in fact . . . Human? **_No, dimwit. I'm a Bat._**

**Lucy:** Yes, of course.

**Tumnus:** What are you doing here? **_Hiding from Peter._**

**Lucy:** Well, I was hiding in the wardrobe in the spare room, and-

**Tumnus:** Spare Oom . . . Is that in Narnia? **_No dummy. It's in Calormen._**

**Lucy:** Narnia? What's that? **_The place you're in._**

**Tumnus:** Dear girl, you're in it! Everything from the lamppost, all the way to Castle Cair Paravel on the eastern ocean. Every stick and stone you see, every icicle . . . is Narnia.

**Lucy** _(to herself)_**: **This is an awfully big wardrobe. **_Yep._**

**Tumnus:** War Drobe?. . . I'm sorry, please allow me to introduce myself. **_NO! I WON'T allow you to introduce yourself. _**My name is Tumnus. **_Darn it! LISTEN TO ME!_**

**Lucy:** Pleased to meet you, Mr. Tumnus! I'm Lucy Pevensie. _(extends hand) _. . . Oh, you shake it.

**Tumnus:** Um . . . why? **_I don't know._**

**Lucy:** I-I don't know! People do it when they meet each other.

_(Tumnus shakes her hand)_

**Tumnus:** Well then, Lucy Pevensie from the shining city of War Drobe in the wondrous land of Spare Oom, how would it be if you came and had tea with me? **_ It wouldn't be good. You're going to betray her! Or at least, you're planning on it. Muahahahahaha! ESP is a great thing._**

**Lucy:** Thank you very much! But I probably should be getting back . . . **_Yes, you should._**

**Tumnus:** Yes, but it's only just around the corner and there'll be a glorious fire, with toast and tea and cakes. And perhaps . . . we'll even break into the sardines. **_Ew. I hate, HATE sardines._**

**Lucy:** I don't know . . .

**Tumnus:** Come on. It's not every day I get to make a new friend. **_Because you betray them._**

**Lucy:** I suppose I could come for a little while . . . If you have sardines. **_WHAT? YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE SARDINES!_**

**Tumnus:** By the bucket load. **_Not._**

_(They walk arm-in-arm through the snow. Lucy sees Tumnus' house and stops, grinning)_

**Tumnus:** Here we are. Come along.

_(Lucy walks inside the house. Tumnus looks around and then walks inside) **He's paranoid. **_

Scene: In Tumnus' House

_(Tumnus and Lucy walk inside. Tumnus puts down his umbrella and shakes the snow off his feet. Lucy looks at a picture)_

**Tumnus:** Oh that . . . that is my father.

**Lucy:** He has a nice face. **_(stifles laugh) Oh, Lucy, Lucy, Lucy . . . _**He looks a lot like you.

**Tumnus:** No, . . . I'm not very much like him at all really.

**Lucy:** My father's fighting in the war.

**Tumnus:** My father went away to war too . . . But that was a very long time ago . . . before this dreadful winter.

**Lucy:** Winter's not all bad. There's ice-skating and snowball fights. **_And pushing Peter down snowy hills. And shoving melting snow down his collar so you can hear him shriek like a little girl, even though he's 16. I would continue, but ON WITH THE STORY! _**Oh! And Christmas! **_Yes! You must NEVER forget Christmas. EVER. I will HUNT. YOU. DOWN. If you forget Christmas._**

**Tumnus:** Not here. No, we haven't had Christmas for a hundred years here. **_WHAT?_**

**Lucy:** What? No presents for a hundred years? **_GASP! Oh, the HORROR!_**

**Tumnus:** Always winter, never Christmas. **_(Sobs) _**It's been a long winter. **_Thank you, Captain Obvious. _**But you would have loved Narnia in the summer. We Fauns danced with the Dryads all night, and we never got tired. And the music, such music . . . Would you like to hear some now? **_Not really._**

**Lucy:** Yes please.

_(Tumnus gets out his instrument)_

**Tumnus:** Now, are you familiar with the Narnian lullabies? **_No._**

**Lucy** _(shakes head)_**:** Sorry, no.

**Tumnus:** That's good. Because this . . . probably won't sound anything like one.

_(Tumnus plays his tune. Lucy sips her tea and looks into the fire. A heard of galloping centaurs appears. Lucy stats but Tumnus nods. She looks back into the fire. She sees Nymphs dancing, Dwarfs feasting, and a flying horse. Lucy's eyes start to fall. She falls asleep and drops her cup. Tumnus looks into the fire and for one moment, it takes the shape of a roaring lion. The lights go out.)_

Scene: The Betrayal

_(Lucy wakes up and looks out the window. She sees that it is darker)_

**Lucy:** Oh, I should go. **_Yes, you should._**

**Tumnus:** It's too late for that now. I'm such a terrible Faun. **_Yes, you are. Because you wanted to betray my little sister. I mean, honestly, she's the only one I got! I'm going to be over-protective of her._**

_(Tumnus is lying down) **How'd he get like that?**_

**Lucy:** Oh, no. You're the nicest Faun I've ever met. **_I'm sorry to break it to you Lu, but he was the ONLY Faun you'd ever met._**

**Tumnus:** Then I'm afraid you've had a very poor sampling. **_Yep, she has. _**

**Lucy:** You can't have done anything that bad.

_(Lucy hands Tumnus her handkerchief)_

**Tumnus:** It's not something I have done, Lucy Pevensie. It's something I'm doing.

**Lucy:** What are you doing? **_Kidnapping you._**

**Tumnus:** I'm kidnapping you. **_I just said that! _ **It was the White Witch. **_Duh! _**She's the one who makes it always winter, always cold. **_Hence the name the White Witch. _** She gave orders: If any of us ever find a Human wandering in the woods, we're supposed to turn it over to her.

**Lucy:** Oh, but Mr. Tumnus, you wouldn't . . . I thought you were my friend. **_I didn't. _**

_(Tumnus looks up)_

Scene: Back to England

_(Lucy and Tumnus run to the lamppost)_

**Tumnus:** She may already know you're here. The woods are full of her spies! . . . Even some of the trees are on her side!

_(Lucy glances up at the trees. Finally, Lucy and Tumnus step into the light of the lamppost)_

**Tumnus:** Can you find your way back from here? **_Yes. Oh, you were talking to Lucy, weren't you?_**

**Lucy:** I think so . . . Will you be alright? **_No. _**

_(Tumnus starts to cry)_

**Lucy:** Hey, there there. It's all right.

_(Tumnus tries to return the handkerchief)_

**Lucy:** Keep it. You need it more than I do.

**Tumnus:** No matter what happens, Lucy Pevensie, I am glad to have met you. You've made me feel warmer than I've felt in a hundred years. Now go. Go!

_(Lucy runs off as Tumnus returns to his home. Lucy falls out of the wardrobe)_

**Peter **_(background)_**: **98, 99, 100 . . . Ready or not here I come.

**Lucy:** I'm back, I'm back! It's all right!

**Edmund:** Shhh, he's coming. **_He _was_._**

_(Peter finds them. Edmund comes out from hiding)_

**Peter:** You know, I'm not sure if you two have quite gotten the idea of this game. **I _had the idea of it. It was Lucy who didn't get it._**

**Lucy:** But weren't you wondering where I was? **_Yes._**

**Edmund: **That's the point! That's why he was seeking you! **_Why must_ I_ be the one who has to point out the obvious to my siblings? WHY? _**

**Susan:** Does this mean I win? **_No._**

**Peter:** I don't think Lucy wants to play anymore.

**Lucy:** I've been gone . . . for hours.

_(Susan and Edmund examine the wardrobe)_

**Susan:** The only wood in here is the back of the wardrobe.

**Peter:** One game at a time, Lu. We don't all have your imagination.

**Lucy:** But I wasn't imagining! **_She wasn't._**

**Susan:** That's enough.

**Lucy:** I wouldn't lie about this! **_She wouldn't._**

**Edmund:** Well, I believe you. **_I did._**

**Lucy:** You do? **_Yes._**

**Edmund:** Of course, didn't I tell you about the football field I found in the bathroom cupboard? **_There really was one!_**

**Peter:** Oh, will you just stop it? You always have to make everything worse. **_WHAT! _**

**Edmund:** It was just a joke. **_Actually, it wasn't. But they didn't need to know that._**

**Peter:** When are you going to learn to grow up? **_Hopefully never._**

**Edmund **_(gets angry)_**: **Shut up! You think you're dad, but you're not! _(Storms out)_

**Susan:** Well, that was nicely handled! _(Walks away too)_

**Lucy:** But . . . It was really there . . .

****Peter:** **Susan's right, Lucy. That's enough.

**AN: More? Review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Oh, goody! More answering hypothetical questions!**

Scene: Edmund and the Wardrobe

_(Lucy closes the wardrobe and it dissolves to night) _

_(Pan down on candle burning out, Lucy get's out boots and not slippers and takes the candle.) _

_(Flushing toilet as Edmund comes out and sees Lucy. He follows her to wardrobe. **Contrary to popular belief, I was **_**not_ spying. I was making sure that she wasn't sleep-walking._**_ Lucy's candle blows out when she opens the wardrobe door and walks in as Edmund enters the room) _

**Edmund:** Lucy, Lucy? _(Opens the wardrobe door) _Boo! _(Edmund enters the wardrobe)_ I hope you're not afraid of the dark. **_She isn't. _**_(shuts door, forgetting how very silly this is** Hey!**)_ Lucy?

_(Edmund finds a tree branch. He walks backwards a trips…into snow) _

**Edmund:** Lucy? Lucy! I think I believe you now!

_(Edmund finds the lamp-post. He walks around for a while shouting for Lucy. Finally, he comes to a road. He hears bells)_

**Edmund:** Lucy? **_What can I say? I was kinda stupid back then._**

**Ginarrbrik:** Yah! (whipping sound)

_(A sleigh pulled by white reindeer comes into view. Edmund dives out of the way into the snow and then the dwarf jumps out and throws a whip around Edmunds legs. Ginarrbrik puts a knife to Edmund's throat) _

**White Witch:** What is it now, Ginarrbrik?

**Edmund:** He won't let go! **_He wouldn't!_**

**Ginarrbrik:** How dare you address the queen of Narnia? **_I dare to address her as "Go to heck, Witch," 'cause I have to keep it PG._**

**Edmund:** I didn't know!

**Ginarrbrik:** You will know her better hereafter! **_What if I don't want to?_**

_(Ginnarrbrik raises his dagger)_

**White Witch:** Wait!

_(Edmund looks up at the Witch) _

**White Witch:** What is your name, Son-of-Adam? **_Edmund._**

**Edmund:** Edmund. **_Stop copying!_**

**White Witch:** And how, Edmund, did you come to enter my dominion? **_I tripped._**

**Edmund:** I'm not sure. I was just following my sister and-

**White Witch:** Your sister? How many are you? **_About 6 billion. Oh! You meant my siblings. Well, in that case, then there's four of us._**

**Edmund:** Four. Lucy is the only one that's been here before. She said she met a faun called… Tumnus. Peter and Susan didn't believe her.

**White Witch:** Edmund, you look so cold. Will you come and sit with me? **_No._**

_(Edmund sits on the Witch's sleigh. She puts her mantle around him) _

**White Witch:** Now, how about something hot to drink? **_No thanks._**

**Edmund:** Yes, please...Your Majesty. **_Idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot. (facepalm, facepalm, facepalm, facepalm)_**

_(The Witch takes a vial and drops a green drop on snow that becomes a hot drink. Ginarrbrik gives it to Edmund) _

**Ginarrbrik:** Your drink, sire.

**Edmund:** How did you do that? **_Magic. BAD magic._**

**White Witch:** I can make anything you'd like.

**Edmund:** Could you make me taller? **_No._**

**White Witch:** Anything you would like to eat.

**Edmund:** Turkish Delight?

_(Another drop comes down and makes the box of Turkish Delight and the Dwarf gives it to Edmund) _

**White Witch:** Edmund, I would very much like to meet your family. **_ Sure you would._**

**Edmund:** Why? They're nothing special. **_I'm not anything special either._**

**White Witch:** Oh, I'm sure they're not nearly as delightful as you are. **_I don't WANNA be delightful if YOU like me!_**

_(She pulls off Ginarrbrik's hat and wipes Edmund's mouth with it) _

**White Witch:** You see, Edmund, I have no children of my own. And you are exactly the sort of boy who I could see one day becoming Prince of Narnia. Maybe even King. **_Then you have amazing foresight._**

**Edmund** _(mouth full)_**:** Really?

**White Witch:** Of course you'd have to bring your family.

**Edmund:** Oh, you mean…Peter would be king too? **_SHE didn't, but Aslan did._**

**White Witch:** No. But a king needs servants. **_Not necessarily._**

**Edmund:** I guess I could bring them.

**White Witch:** Beyond these woods, you see those two little hills? My house is right between them. You'd love it there Edmund. It has whole rooms simply stuffed with Turkish Delight. **_Liar._**

**Edmund:** Couldn't I have some more now? **_No!_**

**White Witch:** No! … _(smiles) _Don't want to ruin your appetite. Besides, you and I are going to be seeing each other again very soon, aren't we? **_NNNNOOOOOOOO! (runs away screaming)_**

**Edmund:** I hope so … Your Majesty.

**White Witch:** Until then...dear one. I'm gonna miss you. **_Ugh._**

_(The Witch drives off and Edmund is left alone. Lucy runs up to Edmund and hugs him)_

**Lucy:** Edmund? … Oh Edmund, you got in too! Isn't it wonderful? **_Yes, it is._**

**Edmund:** Where've you been?

**Lucy:** With Mr. Tumnus! He's fine. The White Witch hasn't found out anything about him helping me.

**Edmund:** The White Witch?

**Lucy:** She calls herself the queen of Narnia, but she really isn't. … Are you alright? **_No. _**You look awful.

**Edmund:** Well what do you expect! I mean, it's freezing! How do we get out of here? **_We go back through the Wardrobe._**

**Lucy:** Come on...this way.

**AN: Should I continue? Review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: This scene was somewhat hard to do, but I managed. Review!**

Scene: Edmund Betrays Lucy

_(Lucy turns on the light and wakes up Peter) _

**Lucy:** Peter, Peter wake up! It's there, it's really there!

Peter: _(rolls over still half asleep)_ Lucy, what are talking about? _**She's talking about Narnia.**_

**Lucy:** Narnia! It's all in the wardrobe, like I told you!

**Susan:** Oh Lucy, you've been dreaming. _**She hasn't.**_

**Lucy:** But I haven't! I've seen Mr. Tumnus again! Oh, and this time - Edmund went too. _**I did.**_

**Peter** _(to Edmund)_**: **You saw the faun? _**No.**_

_(Edmund shakes his head) _

**Lucy:** Well, he didn't actually go there with me. … What were you doing Edmund? _**Being an idiot.**_

**Edmund:** I-I was just playing along. _**No I wasn't. **_I'm sorry, Peter. I shouldn't have encouraged her. _**Actually, I should have encouraged her. **_You know what little children are like these days. They just don't know when to stop pretending (_sits on his bed looking smugly at Lucy)_

_(Lucy starts to cry and runs out of the room. Susan runs after her and so does Peter, shoving Edmund over) _

**Edmund:** Ow! _**It hurt but I deserved it.**_

_(Lucy runs down the hall and runs into the Professor Kirke, she looks up a little frightened and then starts her crying all over again, hugging him) _

**Mrs. Macready:** You children are one shenanigan shy of sleepin' in the stable- oh, Professor Kirke! I'm sorry. I told them you were not to be disturbed.

**Professor Kirke:** It's alright, Mrs. Macready. I'm sure there's an explanation. _**There is one. **_But I think this one is in need of some hot chocolate. _**Can I have some too?**_

**Mrs. Macready: **Yes Professor Kirke. Come on, dear.

_(Mrs. Macready takes Lucy down the hall. Peter and Susan turn to go) _

**Professor Kirke:** Ahem

Scene: The Professor Kirke's Office

_(Professor Kirke sits at his desk and takes some tobacco out of its silver apple case and puts it in his pipe) _

**Professor Kirke:** You seem to have upset the delicate internal balance of my housekeeper. _**We always do that.**_

**Peter:** We are very sorry sir, it won't happen again. _(starts to leave) __**It will too. This is ME we're talking about.**_

**Susan:** It's our sister, sir. Lucy.

**Professor Kirke:** The weeping girl? _**Yes.**_

**Susan:** Yes, sir. She's upset. _**Obviously.**_

**Professor Kirke:** Hence the weeping.

**Peter:** It's nothing. We can handle it! _** Really? I'd like to see you try. **__(takes Susan's sleeve)_

**Professor Kirke:** Oh, I can see that.

**Susan:** She thinks she's found a magical land… _**She doesn't think she's found one, she HAS found one.**_

_(The Professor smiles) _

**Susan:** …in the upstairs wardrobe.

_(Professor Kirke stands up) _

**Professor Kirke: **What did you say? _**They said "she thinks she's found a migcal land in the upstairs wardrobe."**_

**Peter:** The wardrobe upstairs. Lucy thinks she's found a forest inside. _**She KNOWS she's found a forest inside, because she HAS.**_

_(Susan and Peter sit on a couch and the Professor sits in a chair across from them) _

**Susan:** She won't stop going on about it.

**Professor Kirke:** What was it like? _**It. Was. EPIC.**_

**Susan:** Like talking to a lunatic!

**Professor Kirke:** No, not her - the forest!

**Peter:** You're not saying you believe her? _**Actually, that's exactly what he's saying.**_

**Professor Kirke:** You don't? _**No, he doesn't.**_

**Susan:** Of course not. I mean, logically, it's impossible. _**Since when is Narnia LOGICAL?**_

**Professor** _(to himself)_**:** What do they teach in schools these days? _**Geometry, Algerbra, Geography, English, History . . .**_

**Peter:** Edmund said they were only pretending. _**And since when am I the honest one?**_

**Professor Kirke:** And he's usually the more truthful one, is he?

**Peter:** No…this would be the first time.

**Professor Kirke:** So, if she's not mad and she's not lying, then logically…we must assume she's telling the truth.

**Peter:** You're saying we should just believe her? _**Yes.**_

**Professor Kirke:** She's your sister, isn't she? You're a family. You might just try acting like one.

Scene: Cricket

**Peter:** And Peter winds up, poised to take yet another wicket…

_(Peter throws the ball and it hits Edmund in the leg) _

**Edmund:** Ow!

**Peter:** Whoops! Wake up, Dolly Daydream! _**NEVER!**_

**Edmund:** Why can't we play hide-and-seek again? _**'Cause we fail at it.**_

**Peter:** I thought you said that it was a kid's game. _**I don't ever remember saying that. Oh wait, yeah, I did.**_

**Susan:** Besides, we could all use the fresh air.

**Edmund:** Not like there isn't air inside.

**Peter **_(to Edmund)_**:** Are you ready? _**Yes.**_

**Edmund** _(to Peter)_**:** Are you? _**No.**_

_(Edmund smacks his bat on the ground and gets ready to hit the ball. Peter pitches the ball. It bounces and Edmund whacks it good and it smashes through an upstairs window. __**I "whacks it good"? Is that even POSSIBLE? **__Upstairs, the children are looking at the broken window and the suit of armor on the floor) _

**Peter:** Well done, Ed! _**Why thank you.**_

**Edmund:** You bowled it!

**Susan:** _(Hears footsteps) _The Macready!

**Peter:** Run!

_(The children run around the house looking for a place to hide. They enter the wardrobe room. Edmund runs up to the wardrobe and opens the door)_

**Edmund:** Come on!

**Susan:** You have got to be joking. _**I'm really not.**_

**Peter:** Go!

_(The all climb into the wardrobe. Peter is careful to leave the door open a crack.)_

**Peter:** Move back! Stop shoving!

**Lucy:** Oww! You're on my foot!

**Edmund:** Don't push!

**Susan:** Watch out! Stop it!

**AN: You like? Review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: I haven't done this one in_ forever. _Haven't had the inspiration, which is probably why it's sparse in comments.**

Scene: Into the Forest

_(Peter and Susan trip…into snow. The look back and gasp as they realize they have entered a snowy wood) _

**Susan:** Impossible! **_I think not._**

**Lucy:** Don't worry, it's probably just your imagination. **_But it was real! You backin' out on me?_**

**Peter:** I don't suppose saying "we're sorry" would quite cover it? **_Nope._**

**Lucy:** No, it wouldn't. … But this might!

_(Lucy nails Peter in the face with a snowball. He throws one back at her and a snowball fight begins. Susan hits Edmund in the arm with one) _

**Edmund:** Ow! _(rubs his arm) _Stop it!

_(They all become quiet and stare at Edmund) _

**Peter:** You little liar!

**Edmund:** You didn't believe her either! **_He didn't._**

**Peter:** Apologize to Lucy. **_NEVER!_**

_(Edmund just looks at her) _

**Peter:** Say you're sorry!

_(Peter steps up to him) _

**Edmund:** Alright! I'm sorry. **_I really wasn't. Peter just scared me._**

**Lucy:** That's alright. Some little children just don't know when to stop pretending. _(looks at him smugly)_

**Edmund _(mutters)_:** Very funny. **_Ha! That IS funny!_**

**Susan:** Maybe we should go back.

**Edmund:** Shouldn't we at least take a look around? **_Good idea, me._**

**Peter:** I think Lucy should decide.

**Lucy _(smiling)_:** I'd like you all to meet Mr. Tumnus!

**Peter:** Well, Mr. Tumnus it is!

_(Peter walks back into the wardrobe) _

**Susan:** But we can't go hiking in the snow dressed like this. **_Well, we COULD…_**

**Peter:** No… but I'm sure the Professor wouldn't mind us using these.

_(Peter starts handing out the fur coats)_

**Peter:** And if you think about it "logically," we're not even taking them out of the wardrobe.

_(Peter hands a coat to Edmund) _

**Edmund:** But that's a girl's coat! **_It wasn't just a girl's coat, it was an old cat-lady's coat._**

**Peter:** I know.

_(The Pevensies pass the Lamppost as they explore Narnia. They start playing in the snow. Then they reach Tumnus' House) _

Scene: Tumnus' House Destroyed

_(Lucy leads them to the faun's cave. When she sees the door knocked down, she tops and stares) _

**Peter:** Lu?

_(She runs toward the door)_

**Peter:** Lucy!

_(They all run to Tumnus' house. They go inside and see that the house has been destroyed) _

**Lucy:** Who would do something like this? **_The White Witch._**

_(Edmund steps on broken picture of Tumnus's dad. Peter notices a note pinned to the wall. It says "Warrant of Arrest By Order of Her Majesty." He begins reading the note) _

**Peter _(reads)_:** "The faun Tumnus is hereby charged with high treason against her imperial majesty Jadis, Queen of Narnia. For comforting her enemies and fraternizing with humans. Signed: Maugrim, Captain of the Secret Police. Long Live the Queen."

**Susan:** Alright, now we should really go back.

**Lucy:** But what about Mr. Tumnus?

**Susan:** If he was arrested just for being with a human, I don't think that there's much that we can do.

**Lucy:** You don't understand, do you? I'm the human! She must have found out he helped me.

_(Edmund looks away) **Oops.**_

**Peter:** Maybe we could call the police.

**Susan:** These _are _the police.

**Peter:** Don't worry, Lu. We'll think of something.

**Edmund:** Why? … I mean, he's a criminal_. **Bad idea me, bad, bad idea.**_

_(Suddenly, they hear a "psst." They look outside and see a robin) _

**Susan:**Did that bird just 'psst' us?_ **Why yes, Su. That bird did just 'psst' us.**_

Scene: Meeting Mr. Beaver

_(The Pevensies walk outside and watch the robin fly away. They hear rustling around them. They look around, frightened. Then, a beaver comes into sight) _

**Lucy:** It's a beaver. **_Yeah, Lu. It's a beaver._**

_(Peter approaches the beaver, clicking his tongue) _

**Peter:** Here boy…Here boy…

_(Peter puts down his hand. The beaver stares at it then sit upright)_

**Mr. Beaver:** Well, I ain't gonna smell it if that's what you want! **_I wouldn't smell it either._**

**Peter:** Sorry.

**Mr. Beaver:** Lucy Pevensie? **_No._**

**Lucy:** Yes? **_I SAID NO!_**

_(Mr. Beaver hands her the handkerchief) _

**Lucy:** Hey, that's the hanky I gave to Mr- **_Tumnus._**

**Mr. Beaver:** Tumnus. **_How DARE you interrupt MY little sister! You shall die a slow and painful death! Oh, wait. _**He got it from me just before they took him.

**Lucy:** Is he alright? **_He is now, but he wasn't then._**

**Mr. Beaver:** Further in.

_(Mr. Beaver scurries off. Susan grabs Peter by the arm) _

**Susan _(to Peter)_:** What are you doing? **_Following him._**

**Edmund:** She's right. How do we know we can trust him? **_We don't._**

**Peter:** He said he knows the faun.

**Susan:** He's a beaver...he shouldn't be saying anything! **_True dat._**

**Mr. Beaver:** Is everything alright? **_No._**

**Peter: **Yes. We were just talking.

**Mr. Beaver:** That's better left for safer corners.

**Lucy:** He means the trees.

_ (The children walk to Beavers dam through the cliffs under a bridge) _

**Mr. Beaver:** Come on. We don't want to be caught out here after nightfall.

_(They see the beavers home with smoke coming from the chimney) _

**Mr. Beaver:** Oh, blimey. Looks like the old girl has got the kettle on. Nice cup of rosy-lee!

**Lucy:** It's lovely!

**Mr. Beaver: **Oh, it's merely a trifle, you know. Still got plenty of work to do. Ain't quite finished it yet. It'll look the business when it is done.

_(They approach the house)_

**Mrs. Beaver:** Beaver, is that you? I've been worried sick. If find out you've been with Badger again...Oh, those aren't Badgers. **_No, we aren't, thank you very much. _**I never thought I would live to see this day! _(turns to Mr. Beaver)_ Look at my fur. You couldn't give me ten minutes warning?

**Mr. Beaver:** I'd give you a week if I thought it would've helped.

**Mrs. Beaver: **Come inside and we'll see if we can't get you some food. And some civilized company. 

**Mr. Beaver:** Now careful, watch your step.

_(Lucy, Susan & Peter follow Mrs. Beaver inside. Edmund stops and looks at two hills_)

**Mr. Beaver:** Enjoying the scenery, are we? **_Why yes, I was._**

_(Edmund turns away and enters the house. Mr. Beaver follows him) _


End file.
